Baltimore Or Less

There is the baby praying mantis.

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 17:43:36 -0400

There is the baby praying mantis.

Spot the baby praying mantis. #baltimore

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:42:01 -0400

Spot the baby praying mantis. #baltimore

Baltimore Late 80′s Industrial: Black Pete – Mississippi Queen

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:34:16 -0400

(Fantod Under Glass, 12/23/2008)

“In the late 80s industrial dance music was all the rage in alternative circles; labels such as Wax Trax in Chicago, Play It Again Sam in Belgium, and Nettwerk in Canada were putting out tons of releases, with many of the acts making the jump to major labels (Ministry, Skinny Puppy, etc.). But one of the only stabs at this genre from Baltimore that I can recall* was a one-off 12″ by Black Pete, the duo of George Hagegeorge and ex-Null Set/Cabal singer Bill Dawson. A bass player was added for live shows, though I don’t know if one ever happened. I think the record actually got issued by two labels somehow; here is the Calvert Street Records version.”

Continue reading at Fantod Under Glass.

Listen at burlveneer-music.tumblr.com/post/31070581229/black-pete-bill-dawson-and-george-hagegeorge

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The Mark Harp All-Stars highlight SoWeBo Fest 2013

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:16:05 -0400

Redux Stage celebrates music long gone but far from forgotten

by Tom Warner (Accelerated Decrepitude)

Keith Worz (far right) implores The Mark Harp All-Stars to pull his finger at 2013 SoWeBo Festival.

It was the best of times, it was the Worz of times (yes, perpetually frenetic scenester Keith Worz was there!) at the 30th annual SoWeBohemian Arts & Music Festival held this past Memorial Weekend Sunday in Baltimore’s failed experiment in neighborhood gentrification, SoWeBo (which I guess stands for SouthWest Baltimore, but was originally coined by the early bohemian settlers to show their solidarity with South Africa’s Soweto townships).

Though there’s a lot to see and do down at SoWeBo – like all the art and crafts on display (though most people seem to just eat, drink, get sunburn, and listen to the free music) – Amy “I have enough t-shirts & jewelry” Linthicum and I set out to hang at the Marble Bar Time Capsule Stage (officially known as The Redux Stage, on the corner of Arlington and Lombard) as our prime objective, because this was Festival Ground Zero for seeing all the old people (Marble Bar Baby Boomers like us) and hearing all the old music (late ’70s & 1980s Punk-New Wave-Postpunk) that we like…

…Once again the usual musical suspects – The Motor Morons (unofficial “house band” of SoWeBo), Thee Katatonix, The Beatoes, Mongoloidian Glow – were on stage to perform, but this year’s highlight was easily the much-anticipated performance of The Mark Harp All-Stars – plus a surprise mini-set (courtesy of the Kats’ Adolf Kowalski) by Washington D.C.’s ’80s pop-punk wonders, Tru Fax & The Insaniacs.

The Mark Harp All-Stars idea was the brainchild of long-time Harp collaborator Robyn Webb (following a suggestion by Fred Collins), who posted on her Facebook page the following thank-you to all who participated in the day’s festivities:

Still in recovery, but want to offer major thanks to everyone, Chris Dennstaedt, Chris Ciattei, Cecilia Strakna, Robert J. Friedman, David Zidek, David Wilcox, Bill Dawson, Cindy Borchardt, Craig Considine and Ben Watson for making Mark Harp’s All-Stars a reality one more time….Despite scheduling snafus, equipment failures and general chaos, they said it couldn’t be done, but we pulled it off…Thanks also to Fred Collins, the SoWeBo Festival committee, Joe Berky, Thee Katatonix, Motor Morons, Mongoloidian Glow, Trufax & The Insaniacs, David Wright, Tom Warner and to all of you that stuck around until the bitter end to share Mark Harp’s music with us. Great to see so many old friends together in one place. – Robyn Webb

Well said, Robyn. My only regret was that the star-studded set started so late, at Twilight’s last gleaming after a long day’s journey into (SoWeBo) blight. But as Larry Vega would say, “What the hell ya gonna do?”

Continue reading “SoWeBo Fest 2013” at Accelerated Decrepitude.

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Skink lost its tail. Turkey Point, Maryland.

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:10:45 -0400

Skink lost its tail. Turkey Point, Maryland.

American Icons, Poncabird Pub, Dundalk, Maryland. #baltimore ...

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 22:19:29 -0400

American Icons, Poncabird Pub, Dundalk, Maryland. #baltimore (at Poncabird Pub)

Took me over five years to get this to bloom.

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 15:10:53 -0400

Took me over five years to get this to bloom.

Happy Birthday Art Donovan: Football’s Fat Man

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:31:13 -0400

Football’s Fat Man
A Gridiron Survivor Remembers the Glory Days of Tough Guys and Grudges
By Art Donovan (People Magazine, 11/9/1987)

“…The only thing I worried about was my weight. Coach Ewbank wanted me to play at 270, and it was tough to get down. The man was a royal pain about weight. I think he wanted a squad of 160-lb. guys out there. I would get a bonus if I played at 270, and whenever they weighed me, they would take me to a grain store and put me on the scales. Before the weigh-in I used to get into a hot whirlpool—we finally did get one—wearing a rubber suit, and I’d stay in there for hours. I could lose 12 lbs. that way. I’d do anything to make weight, even pop out my false teeth. I’d stand there like a baby—wet, naked and with no teeth.

My problem was I loved to eat. Still do. Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then I’ve tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips. I was one of the first people to really appreciate French cuisine—they invented french fries, didn’t they? For the past 45 years I haven’t eaten anything but kosher salami, kosher bologna, corned beef, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pizza, and, like I said, french fries, my concession to the vegetable family. Never steak—I don’t like anything you have to chew on. You can imagine that keeping the weight down was a problem. When I retired my teammates gave me two beautiful suits. I gained 20 lbs. in the next two weeks and never wore them. Now I guess I’m about 340.

I didn’t want to retire. The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn’t play football for the Colts anymore.”

Continue reading “Football’s Fat Man” at People Magazine.

Charm City Icon

By Ron Cassie (Frederick News-Post, 9/14/2007)

t Donovan was known as “Fatso.” But, he was a Hall of Fame player for the Baltimore Colts, not to mention a friendly cut-up. “I like people. What can I say,” he said. Photo by Skip Lawrence

At 83, conversation with Artie Donovan remains more like friendly sparring than talking. The Hall-of-Fame raconteur and Colt tackle is still quick with a line, a jab, a story and a belly laugh.

Last year, he saw me arrive early for our interview, sitting in my truck outside his country club and struggling to get my tape recorder to work. Instead of waiting, he drove over in his golf cart to pick me up and see “what the problem was.”

He steered, needling me for a few minutes about the faulty machine during the short ride to his home behind the club. We sat side-by-side in the cart, tossing questions and tales back and forth for an hour before moving to the patio.

Eventually, I got a tour inside his Valley Country Club mansion in Towson and the bar with all his memorabilia. There was a large black and white photo of a young, barrel-chested Donovan with Richard Nixon in the locker room after a game. A timeless picture with his late buddy, John Unitas, at the quarterback’s Golden Arm Lounge, having a beer and sharing a smile. And pictures of his father, Arthur Sr., the great boxing referee, and his grandfather, a middleweight champ who fought on the Union side in the Civil War.

“We do about 80 weddings a year here,” Donovan said of the family business. “And you know, someone will always ask if I’m around. So, I end up after the reception, waiting at the end of the bar like an old hooker, looking for someone to come up, say hello and buy me a drink.”

Continue reading “Charm City Icon” at Frederick News-Post.

Also: Wikipedia.org: Art Donovan

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Mustard Booger, Chaps Pit Beef, #baltimore

Fri, 31 May 2013 23:35:05 -0400

Mustard Booger, Chaps Pit Beef, #baltimore

Assault at Orioles Game Sends Man Wearing Yankees Cap to Intensive Care

Fri, 31 May 2013 16:46:05 -0400

By Justin Fenton (The Baltimore Sun, 5/31/2013)

“…Two men have been charged in connection with the attack — Gregory Fleischman, 22, of Jarrettsville, and Michael Bell, 21, of Annapolis. Police said Bell threw a beer at Matthew Fortese, 25, and when Fortese approached them, he was punched and fell over a concrete barrier.

Fortese’s brother, Jimmy, said Fortese lost consciousness and stopped breathing. An off-duty Maryland state trooper in the crowd performed CPR and revived him.
“It’s very serious,” Jimmy Fortese said of his brother’s condition. “They’re not saying he’s out of the woods yet. They tell us we have to wait and see.”
Matthew Fortese was on a date with another couple, and was wearing a Yankees hat, his brother said. The two men had been throwing things throughout the game, and Matthew and his date were eventually hit with a full beer.””

Story: Assault at Orioles game sends man to intensive care baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/…

— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) May 31, 2013

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Shit Head. Employee bathroom, Falls Road, Baltimore, Maryland....

Thu, 30 May 2013 10:54:37 -0400

Shit Head. Employee bathroom, Falls Road, Baltimore, Maryland. #baltimore

Baltimore writer describes life in the death business, her 9 years at a city funeral home

Wed, 29 May 2013 16:01:23 -0400

(The Washington Post, 5/29/2013)

Sheri Booker was 15 when she got a summer job at a West Baltimore funeral home. In the beginning, she answered phones and babysat bodies, showing guests into the funeral home’s viewing room. But over the next nine years she was given almost every task, from writing obituaries and driving a hearse to lifting bodies and painting women’s fingernails.

In “Nine Years Under,” Booker describes her life in the death business. The result is alternately creepy and captivating, drawing readers in with the same you-can’t-not-look quality of a highway crash.

Continue reading “Baltimore writer describes life in the death business, her 9 years at a city funeral home” at The Washington Post.

Nine Years Under: Coming of Age in an Inner-City Funeral Home

Six Feet Under meets The Wire in a dazzling and darkly comic memoir about coming-of-age in a black funeral home in Baltimore

Sheri Booker was only fifteen years old when she started working at Wylie Funeral Home in West Baltimore. She had no idea that her summer job would become nine years of immersion in a hidden world. Reeling from the death of her beloved great aunt, she found comfort in the funeral home, and soon has the run of the place, from its sacred chapels to the terrifying embalming room.

With AIDS and gang violence threatening to wipe out a generation of black men, Wylie was never short on business. As families came together to bury one of their own, Booker was privy to their most intimate moments of grief and despair. But along with the sadness, Booker encountered moments of dark humor: brawls between mistresses and widows, and car crashes at McDonald’s with dead bodies in tow. While she never got over her terror of the embalming room, Booker learned to expect the unexpected and to never, ever cry.

This vibrant tour of a macabre world reveals an urban funeral culture where photo-screened memorial T-shirts often replace suits and ties and the dead are sent off with a joint or a fifth of cognac. Nine Years Under offers readers an unbelievable glimpse into an industry in the backdrop of all our lives.

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Baltimore Train Explosion (Baltimore Club Remix)

Wed, 29 May 2013 16:01:23 -0400

And just like that there is a Baltimore Club remix of the guy in the car freaking out over the Rosedale train explosion.

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Here Comes Towson, Maryland’s White-Power Safety Patrol

Wed, 29 May 2013 16:01:22 -0400

Here Comes The White-Power Safety Patrol
They Want To Clean Up Your Campus

By Wes Enzinna (Vice.com, 5/29/2013)

Matthew Heimbach insists he’s not a racist. This comes as a surprise to his fellow students at Towson University, in the suburbs of Baltimore, where Matthew has formed a group called the White Student Union that advocates for “persons of European heritage”—what most of us call “white people.” It also comes as a surprise to the African American students who feel targeted by the night patrols the senior history major began conducting in March. The patrols target supposed “black predators,” Matthew wrote on the WSU’s website, citing (among others) a case in which an African American man pulled out a knife and his penis, and wagged both at a co-ed couple who were copulating in a parking garage. “White Southern men,” he wrote, “have long been called to defend their communities when law enforcement and the State seem unwilling to protect our people.”

Also surprised by Matthew’s claim that he’s not a racist is Duane Davis. “You are a fat, racist little bitch,” the scrappy, dreadlocked man told Matthew one sunny Tuesday this April. There was a rally going on, organized by the Student Government Association and the Black Student Union. In a field behind Duane and Matthew, about 100 students protested the White Student Union by reading unity-themed slam poetry from a microphone. When Matthew showed up on the edge of the crowd, a dozen protesters had come to confront him. Down the façade of a parking garage, a banner unfurled reading, WSU GTFO (translation: White Student Union Get the Fuck Out).

“There’s no need to insult me,” Matthew told Duane, who looked one wrong reply away from punching the 21-year-old.

“I’ve killed people,” Duane said. “In self-defense… But I’ve killed people.”

Matthew has the look of someone who’s been bullied his whole life: he puffs out his chest to hide an abundant belly, wears unfashionable drugstore spectacles, and on this day sported what vaguely resembled a Morrissey T-shirt.

Continue reading “Here Comes The White-Power Safety Patrol” at Vice.com.

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Alice Cooper Rocks the Towson, Maryland Courthouse, 1991

Wed, 29 May 2013 15:00:51 -0400

1. Under My Wheels
2. I’m Eighteen
3. Hey Stoopid
4. Love’s A Loaded Gun
5. School’s Out
6. No More Mr. Nice Guy

There is even a bootleg DVD of the concert!

Alice Cooper rocks 2,000 in Towson
Some skip school to hear ’70s rocker deliver his new anti-drug message.

By Meredith Schlow (Baltimore Evening Sun, 9/10/1991)

Rocker Alice Cooper played to about 2,000 in Towson’s Courthouse Plaza today, turning the normally sedate lunchtime crowd into a rocking group that mixed teens in black attire with the regular professionals in suits and ties.

Fans, new and old, crowded in front of the courthouse to hear Cooper, one of rock’s legendary bad boys of the ’70s, who is touring the country promoting his new album, “Hey Stoopid.” Its title cut carries a strong anti-drug message.

Teen-agers crowded on the grass, but declined to give their names as they admitted they had cut school to hear Cooper sing.

“I’ve heard [Cooper’s] done some gross things, like bite the heads off bats,” one high school senior in the crowd said.

“I thought there might be some big truancy roundup,” said another teen, eyeing the police officers who stood at the perimeter of the plaza. “They’d lure us all down here, and then say, ‘OK, up against the wall!’ ”

Continue reading “Alice Cooper rocks 2,000 in Towson” at The Baltimore Sun.

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Remembering Memorial Day in Baltimore with crabs & beer

Mon, 27 May 2013 14:30:45 -0400

Local hero dreams of being back in Baltimore with hard-shelled crabs and beer.

Today marks the 145th anniversary of Memorial Day, a day to honor those men and women, both nationally and right here in our own background, who gave their lives in the service of their country.

As a port city and former steel manufacturing hub, Baltimore has always been active during military conflicts, especially during The Big One. Baltimore was right in the thick of the Allied war effort in World War II – launching the first Liberty ship (the SS Patrick Henry, which was constructed at the Bethlehem-Fairfield yard), producing military aircraft like the B-26 Marauder at the Glenn L. Martin plant in Middle River, and training grunts and sailors alike for combat duty at facilities like Camp Holabird, Fort McHenry, Curtis Bay and elsewhere.

Baltimore was certainly “on the map” during the second world war, and Hollywood took notice, name-checking B-more for its stereotypical “Charm City” attributes in a number of films. Long before this town become synonymous with violent crime, drug peddling and urban decay in TV series like Homicide, The Wire and The Corner (not to mention prostitution – don’t forget, Tippy Hedren’s mom in Hitchcock’s Marnie was a sailor-baiting floozy), a Baltimore reference usually involved beer (our German brewing heritage long celebrated by H.L. Mencken) and crabs (both the edible kind and, later, the sexually-transmitted variety) – though in Fred Zinnemann’s post-war film The Search (1948), Montgomery Clift boasted that he was from “Baltimore, the cleanest, finest city in the United States!”

Faux native son Montgomery Clift gilds the lily of Charm City in “The Search.”

But more often than not, vets from Mobtown were vetted as legit homies by referring to our beer and seafood. One of my favorites name-checks was by native son “Pvt. Jim Layton” (played by Marshall Thompson) in William Wellman’s classic WWII classic Battleground (1949), in which the wounded soldier holes up under wreckage dreaming about being “back home in Baltimore, loadin’ up on hard-shelled crabs and beer.”

His pal Holley (Van Johnson) counters, “That dream’s against regulations, soldier. You know what our boys overseas always dreams about.”

Pvt. Jim Layton: “Mom’s blueberry pie?”

Holley: “Why certainly. That’s what they’re fighting for. Boy, when I get home, just give me a hot dog and a slice of that pie. Am I gonna kick when I don’t get my job back? No siree.”

I’ve excerpted that “Dreams Are Getting Better All the Time” clip below as a fitting Memorial Day tribute to our vets and their service fighting for the Baltimore – if not the American - culinary “way of life.” Pie schmie! Crabs and beers on the homefront – it’s what got this town’s Band of Brothers through WWII!

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Underwear Football in Baltimore: The Baltimore Charm

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:31:29 -0400

Charm Offensive
Meet the unpaid, underappreciated, and underprotected stars of underwear football

By Violet Levoit (Baltimore City Paper, 5/22/2013)

Baltimore Charm Quarterback Angela Rypien, left, and wide receiver Jeanine Batcher — Photo by JEFFERSON JACKSON STEELE

“For me, the hardest thing was when I put the uniform on,” says Angela Rypien, quarterback for the Baltimore Charm. “It feels like you’re in something you’d wear to the beach. But when you’re at the beach and wearing a swimsuit, you’re not wearing shoes.”

Angela Rypien, 21 years old, 6 feet tall, 150 pounds, wears number 11, just like her father, former Redskins quarterback and Super Bowl XXVI MVP Mark Rypien—except Rypien Sr. never had to play football in a bra and panties. But that’s the lay of the land for players on the Baltimore Charm, one of 16 North American franchises of the Legends (formerly Lingerie) Football League. The Charm start their 2013 season this Saturday, May 25, against the Jacksonville Breeze. Their home debut, at 1st Mariner Arena, comes two weeks later, against the Philadelphia Passion.

Spectators who come to see Charm games will see football—a 50-yard field, four eight-minute quarters, seven women per side—played by fierce, capable women wearing a bizarre combination of tacky and fearsome: cleavage-baring bras and boy-short panties in “performance material,” topped by football shoulder pads covered by a strange, elastic-hemmed piece of cloth that doesn’t hide the bra, giving the player a constant pulling-up-her-shirt look. It’s equal parts titillating and bizarre, a jarring mashup of the hypermasculine, he-man drag of football attire and “I dreamed I was playing tackle football in my Maidenform bra.”

Continue reading “Charm Offensive” at Baltimore City Paper.

More by Violet LeVoit:

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Porn Star from Dundalk Gets His Own City Paper Column

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:31:04 -0400

Dundalk’s Prodigal Porn Star Writes Home

By Kurt Lockwood (Baltimore City Paper, 5/20/2013)

Photo by J.M. Giordano

I grew up in the Dundalk area of town and graduated from Patapsco High School way back in 1988. I’m a Baltimore Boy through and through – if you cut me I bleed Old Bay and Natty Boh.

It took many years for me to accept this about myself. When I was growing up in the 1980s in economically depressed and socially backwards, thinly populated Dundalk, I found it quite difficult (and painful) to be accepted as Patapsco High School’s resident counter-cultural-punk-rock-provocateur-artiste. Thankfully, things are quite different today. These days, I am celebrated for and indeed make my living as such, being an award-winning, internationally-known adult film star of nearly 1,500 pornographic scenes shot with the most attractive Penthouse Pets, Playboy models, and sexy adult starlets all over the world, and appearing on the nationally televised Showtime series, “Family Business.”

Penelope Stone shows off her domes while she gets a man lock on Kurt Lockman

Continue reading “Dundalk’s Prodigal Porn Star Writes Home” at Baltimore City Paper.

Related: Kurt Lockwood also performs as a standup comedian:

Related: ”It Used to be a Skill, Now it’s a Pill: A male porn star from Dundalk talks about sex, politics, and rock ’n’ roll – Baltimore City Paper

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Marble Bar Redux returns to SoWeBo 2013

Wed, 22 May 2013 13:30:55 -0400

Mark Harp returns in spirit to SoWeBo Fest

I’m really looking forward to this year’s Memorial Weekend highlight, the SoWeBohemian Arts & Music Festival (aka the SoWeBo Arts & Music Festival or, simply, The SoWeBo Fest) on Sunday May 26. Mainly because not only will the “Marble Bar Redux” stage at the corner of Arlington and Lombard once again feature musical blasts from the past that I actually remember (The Beatoes, The Motor Morons, Thee Katatonix), but this year will also feature The Mark Harp All-Stars paying homage (which sounds way too serious!) to – and having fun with (that sounds much better!) – the music of The Big Man himself, our dearly departed friend and musical-genius-mentor Mark Linthicum (aka “Mark Harp,” “Harpo,” “Corky Neidermayer” and “The King of Peru”), who left this mortal coil before his time on Christmas Eve of 2004. Geesh, former Null Set/Cabal and Black Pete frontman – and longtime Harp collaborator – Bill Dawson is coming all the way up from Florida for this shindig, so that tells you something about what a big deal the Big Man was, and continues to be to those discerning music lovers in B-more who “get it.”

Listen to Null Set (Bill Dawson, Mark Harp, John Chreist, Lou Frisino) play their theme song.

Beatoes fans should get there early, as the Too-Ugly-for-MTV boys will take the stage at High Noon.

The Beatoes kick-start Marble Bar Redux at Noon

Watch The Beatoes guest appearance on The Scott & Gary Show.

Thee Katatonix will bring their Beltway Beat to Shake Shake the masses at 5 p.m., followed by Mongolian Glow at 6 p.m., The Motor Morons at 6:30 p.m., and The Mark Harp All-Stars (with a Cecil B. DeMille-worthy “cast of thousands”) at 7 p.m.

Big thanks to Robyn Webb for orchestrating the Mark Harp All-Stars project; Robyn also MC’ed the Marble Bar Redux stage line-up last year. Returning to manage the line-up this year is none other than iconic Motor Moron and Pleasant Liver singer Fred Collins, who co-managed Marble Bar Redux 2012 with fellow Motor Moron Sam Fitzsimmons. (As they say in horse breeding parlance, those are studs with really good bloodlines for this racing card.) Like just about everybody associated with the Marble Bar line-up, Robyn and Fred once played with Mark Harp.

Watch a clip of Fred manically performing “Big Headed Baby” wit the Pleasant Livers at the 2012 SoWeBo Festival, below:

So, as we count down the days to the “Marble Bar Redux Redux,” enjoy this field report from last year’s festivities, posted by yours truly. Hope to see you all out there Sunday! – Tom Warner

***

Marble Bar Redux @ SoWeBo Festival

by Tom Warner (Accelerated Decrepitude, May 29, 2012)

“I had a great time at the Sowebo festival yesterday! The Redux stage proved that it doesn’t matter how old you are, you can still rock out! I got there just in time for the Pleasant Livers, and then watched Thee Katatonix,Motor Morons and Ben Watson’s World Media War and everyone was fantastic. So good to see so many of you there!”
- Amy Linthicum, Girl Reporter (via Facebook post)

As usual, Amy Linthicum says best what I can only flail at with my forked tongue. But my tongue must flail, so here goes…Yes, SoWeBohemian Festival 2012 was a blast – and a true blast from the past for those 80′s Punk/New Wave relics like us who still fondly remember the Marble Bar (which closed its doors in 1985), the Galaxy Ballroom and its associated renegade musical spirit. The Marble/Galaxy contingent were treated to their own “old timey sounds” area, the “Marble Bar Retrospective” on the Redux Stage – where co-stage managers Sam Fitzsimmons (Motor Morons) and Fred Collins (Motor Morons, Pleasant Livers) oversaw the day’s entertainment. They were ably assisted by emcee Robyn Webb, who introduced the day’s numerous acts and kept the rock rolling smoothly.

Continue reading “Marble Bar Redux” at Accelerated Decrepitude.

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Man runs out of gas, sets up drum kit on Interstate 695

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:17:54 -0400

Driver not cited and continued on his way after highway officials help
Read more at The Baltimore Sun.

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